Being Mary Jane: Purging & Cleansing

Quick Episode Synopsis: Family turmoil boils over with the fallout over Patrick's relapse and Big Poppa's reaction to it. The campus crew joins MJ's focus group for the revamped TalkBack as Cece joins in with timely advice. Kara offers MJ advice that both will find useful and Cece shows that everything comes with a cost.

HER PERSPECTIVE: The Purging and Cleansing episode was a bag of mixed nuts. The good kind. I loved the focus on shedding old skin and reclaiming a lost voice, parenting on various levels, decision making, white privilege, women breadwinners...all topics that we can certainly relate to and apply to our own lives. I appreciate that MJ was humble enough to bring back the "scarfed one." Her voice was too strong and too real to be boxed into that one classroom scene. I'm glad MJ recognized that and didn't stay in her feelings. I was so incredibly disappointed by the unveiling of Cece's mask. The look on MJ's face at the end of that scene was perfection. Just as Cece was warming MJ (and us) over, the wolf in sheep's clothing reared it's furry head. It's hard trusting new mofos. Everyone has a damn agenda when they know they can get some shit out of you. I hope this ends well. Although I have a feeling it won't. Loretta Devine is playing the hell out of that role!!

HIS PERSPECTIVE: When the "scarfed one" showed up at the office I was surprised. Not pleasantly so, but surprised nonetheless. I thought that the nuggets she left behind last week would be good enough for us to get the point, but there she was holding her own yet again. I was pleased when Cece showed up to "take over" and do her thing, but my heart sank when the hustler in her reared its ugly head by the end of the episode. I kind of feel as if she and Cece are the good and bad whispers in the ear of MJ. Both sound great, but one of them will add on to MJ's beautiful flaws. I guess sometimes the devil wears nipple-high khaki's, Tommy Bahama shirts and a fedora as he seduces you with a line of fake credit. It pains me deeply to think that I could be wrong on my initial assessment of Cece.

HIS PERSPECTIVE: Addiction is all encompassing and has so many tentacles to it. Each person effected has their own demons to deal with as a result. Did I do enough to help out? Did I aid or enable the addict? Do I ever trust this person again? Are just a few questions that come to mind. As MJ's father apologized to his dying wife, it all came clear to me. This is a father that feels like he's failed his children, (possibly by over coddling), failed his wife by holding on to his children's problems for far too long and at their detriment and failed himself by not measuring up to his own lofty standards. The funny thing is, plenty of people would kill to have a father that is so loving. It's a shame that he doesn't see it yet. Hopefully he'll realize his true worth soon.

HER PERSPECTIVE: Poor Patrick. He just can't get right. I want him to win because he's a genuinely good dude and dedicated father. But I also get that addiction is a lifelong process that one constantly has to battle. Hopefully the new potential love interest in his life will be a positive influence. It was heartbreaking to see how disappointed Paul Sr. was when he found out that Patrick was on "drugs" again. That bedroom scene between Paul Sr. and Helen tore through my heart. Watching him break down with tears in his eyes was gut wrenching. At some point I would like to see some recognition from the adult children (and grandchildren) for the sacrifices their parents made on their behalf.



HIS PERSPECTIVE: "You need to see who else is capable of showing up." More powerful words have never hit so hard. There are times when loved ones take it upon themselves to smother and leave no room for other's to express their love. Let alone on their own terms. It's impossible for others to prove their worth if you are constantly in the way, earning all of the browny points. In this case, family members tend to fall back and take a lesser role and feel isolated and under appreciated. I was just telling the girl that I wanted to see Kara's character developed a bit more and boy was this the episode. When Kara bounced those words off of Mary Jane, I'm sure that the last thing that she expected was for MJ to throw them right back at her. This scene could be better described as Dr. heal thyself. I was happy that Kara took the bull by the horns and confronted John, shocked that she told him that she knew how she got where she was and floored that he threw all of that shit right back in her face. Can you really blame someone that shows you who they are from day one and never changes? Not really, but just because you can't blame them doesn't mean you have to put up with their shit. Of course I get it, shit I even respect it, but I'm pleased as hell that Kara is deciding to finally make John show the fuck up. Maybe MJ will do the same for her family and allow for some other heroes to make a cameo. Seems like baby brother is ready to do his part. After all, it will free her up to work on her own shit.

HER PERSPECTIVE: I loved the scene between Kara and MJ. Kara dropped some serious knowledge not only on MJ...hell..but on all of us watching! What I didn't love was how Kara came at her ex, John. Especially cuz she admitted that she married his ass because he was white and that was the right thing to do, in her eyes. Talk about a warped perception. "Show the fuck up," the boy writes. John has always shown up...as he is...take it or leave it. Her ex has been playing both dad and mom while Kara was out chasing her dreams and if it wasn't for him, Kara wouldn't be the super woman that she is. And so I'm glad John threw that shit right back in Kara's face. Now, whether that interaction will evoke some sort of change in John's flow remains to be seen. Furthermore, would Kara be as willing to take a back seat to John's success?


*Side Note: Seems as if I may have been right from the look ahead to next week. White Boy's Can't Jump seems to be getting his walking papers sooner than later. I like him, but is she really going to roll off into the sunset with a dude that she met in a "damn near" sex club?

Interested in reading our perspectives on previous BMJ episodes? 
Click on the following links - Episode 6 and Episode 8 

Being Mary Jane: THE CUTTY BUDDY

To say that this season of Being Mary Jane has been a roller coaster is only partially true. It has been a non-stop trip across the ZojiLa Pass. With not enough time, or interest to go over the entire 3rd season, we'd like to focus on one not so tiny aspect in episode 6 - the Cutty Buddy. This has been a hot & sore topic between the boy and I, so much so that we had to write about it two episodes later.

HIS PERSPECTIVE: In guy logic, a Cutty Buddy is that one woman that you can slide up in no matter what, when, were or what time; consensually of course. That is until the lines get blurred for one or both consenting parties. Allow me to take it back a few episodes to explain and give my point - After MJ's car accident the role of Cutty turns hero when Brandon swoops in to save the day as MJ is in a lonely and impotent place. Slightly disfigured and emotionally fractured, Brandon chooses to take the mercy hit and do what men do, act as a protector while rewarding themselves with the plunder of said magnanimous act. Shallow, I know, but this shit happens more often than you know. As the season continues, Brandon swoops in again to save the day once MJ reacts to the death of Lisa, MJ's semi-shady childhood friend. Coddling her as she goes through her shit, he is there for her in every sense of the term as she soaks it all in, luxuriating in his vulnerability. The scene ends as the hapless two sit poolside sharing a glass of Whiskey and a Cuban cigar and these words: Brandon: "It was a blessing, I could be here for you."  Mary Jane: "Thank you for changing your routine for me." In the very next episode MJ discovers that Brandon is flawed (has seizures) and his shit becomes way too much for her to deal with, especially in his current role as her Cutty Buddy (my how the tables have turned).


HER PERSPECTIVE: In girl logic, a Cutty Buddy is that one dude that you call (under the pretense of some other shit) when the urge and/or mood tickles your under carriage. This arrangement can last as long as both parties are on the same page every step of the way. Or it can go south real fast once a dose of reality seeps in through the cracks and reveals the true nature of someone's intentions, character and feelings. Rewind back two weeks - I got a text from the boy emphatically stating that I needed to stop bullshitting and watch the "Don't Call It a Comeback" episode because "that was me all day." And so I did. What I wasn't expecting was for him to be spot-on with his assessment. I chuckled for a long minute as I watched the scenes he was referring to: MJ tells Kara about her Cutty Buddy's seizure and Kara asks MJ if she is going to dump her boo. MJ responds in typical MJ fashion, "he is not my boo, he is just someone I do." Then follows up with, "I have too many issues to deal with between my face and my family, it's just too much." And then the icing on the cake, "seizures aren't sexy." And to that I say, you God Damn right seizures ain't sexy!! WTF...that was more than a dose of reality...that was a potential medical emergency. A recurring one at that!


HIS PERSPECTIVE: Here's the deal, when I meet someone that I find interesting, I don't look to place them in a box simply to suit my needs. Sometimes they fall into that place on their own, but it's never really discussed. There are other times when a sense of duty, changes in feelings or other variables occur and modification or at least clarity are what's called for. By the way, the fact that the girl admits that the cutty buddy is called under some other pretense validates my assertion that those waters are at best murky at their clearest juncture. I'll argue that the roles changed once Brandon found an opportunity to be needed by MJ, from that point on he became part tool and caretaker. He was there to serve her needs (as a dildo) and there to protect her from her harsh world, that seemed to be caving in. Then came the moment when Brandon showed his humanity and out came the fucking track shoes. The moment brother-man had his seizure, MJ seemed to panic. "It's too much," she said. And I'm thinking, bitch it wasn't too much when dude picked your ass up and helped you get over your shit. It wasn't too much when he changed his routine for you. I literally wanted to stop watching that bullshit, but I continued on and became more heated as I watched. What I am struck by is what wasn't said by both parties. In relationships there are plenty of players. There are the two of you and whomever else you tell your shit to. The problem is we normally talk to everyone else about our perceived issues rather than the one person that should matter the most. That's when shit becomes too much, because the both of you have shared too little. I'll argue that if both knew that Brandon was designated as a Cutty Buddy, then he would have known not to get over involved in the first place. Once they both allowed the space and opportunity for him to swoop in and save the day, lines were blurred and the potential for feelings to be hurt entered the picture.


HER PERSPECTIVE: Au contraire mon ami, Brandon has always known his designated position. I think it was season 1 or 2 that he brought up the possibility of there being something more between them and was quickly shut down. Brandon (bless his heart) was there for MJ in her time of need. His choice. And a good one at that. But it doesn't mean that she now has to be there for him (continuously cuz he will have more seizures) in that same way. MJ made a notable point when she told her girl Nichelle, "I like him but I'm not invested in him. I can't deal with his life and his issues, it's just too much. It's like I know too much about him. The mystery's gone." I have to agree, it is too much. Watching him go through that was a scary and sobering moment, especially when their arrangement is specific to sex (never mind that ole' boy took care of MJ in her time of need, which was probably strategic to earn extra sex points). Does it make MJ look selfish, self-centered and uncompassionate? Absolutely! Let's not get it twisted tho, MJ is compassionate...for those that she is invested in. lol. But that's the beauty of her character; it's flawed as fuck. MJ is far from perfect and I don't think she should be crucified for standing in her truth..as harsh as it was to witness.


HIS PERSPECTIVE: Mon ami huh? She's always speaking in tongues... Leave it to the girl to allow the facts of the situation to get in the way of my good story. I'm a guy and as such have a limited attention span, what the fuck do I remember from a season or two ago? I'd figure the same can be said for blessed heart Brandon, especially once the lines were blurred. As far as the mystery being gone, mystery is overrated and the exact opposite of a steady base or foundation. And standing in her truth is fine up until the point that she does so by digging her Louboutin's in his back as she lifts herself back up for air. I'd rather show and be shown softness in that moment and the suitable amount of fucking decorum for the situation(s) at hand. Who the fuck rolls out when a person has a seizure, right after he's coddled your selfish ass back to a tolerable place? Miss me with that Bullshit.

HER PERSPECTIVE: I will write this, the boy is overly emotional - I am wildly curious to see how their relationship plays out. I know fans are rooting for them to be a real thing, but I'm on the fence about it. I don't know how compatible they are outside of the bedroom and pool. Unless the show builds up his character beyond a simple jock with a mean ass back stroke, Brandon aka Cutty Buddy will be phased out real soon.

HIS PERSPECTIVE: And I will write this, the girl is cold as ice - I have the sneaky suspicion that MJ and Brandon will see the error in their ways and react accordingly. While the hopeful romantic in me kinda wants them to walk off into the sunset hand and hand, I'd be happy to settle for clarity. I think they deserve at least that much from each other. It's a shame that Brandon's character has been put in the box of the jock with a mean pipe game. Should we all be so lucky or more careful about what we wish for? Hopefully Cutty stays in the story and helps Mary Jane Paul move on to the next chapter with or without him.

Interested in reading our perspective on Episode 8? Click on the link below

Wake Up Call